Mamma Mia, Here I Go Again!

It's been long. Wayyyy too long. But really, honestly and sincerely, I had *nothing* to write about! And how could I? It's not like there's anything major happening that I'd want to write about. Life's same old same old, and how often can you read about the same stuff? Right? Meanwhile, I've been lazying around, doing some introspection. After all the deep thinking and the mind rest, I have come to the conclusion that I can't sit idle anymore. I've thoroughly enjoyed giving my over-worked brain a break, but now it aches for something to do. So I've been actively researching for Post-graduate programs, and sending out my CVs to companies. Now, I'm actually looking forward for something to do, and so glad I decided to take a break from the rut. At least now, I know what I want to do, and am really motivated to pursue that goal and don't feel like I'm being forced into something. Some decisions, although controversial, *are* the right ones after all!

Anyway, in my "thinking time", I've been following the US Presidential Election campaigns. This year, its been amusing more than anything else. I've gone through all the debates, the videos, the advertisements, the speeches, the spoofs, the analysis, the polls....everything! And there's ONE person I want to comment on....

Sarah Palin is an airheaded ditz of an excuse for a politician. She has NO clue what she's talking about. She should stay put where she belongs...on some hockey field with her minivan and children's bags. Mainstream politics is not for her. Even though she may have seemed like a "breath of fresh air" according to McCain, now she just seems like a liability who falters and sputters in every interview. She has never answered a question directly without making a mess of matters, she has no idea how the US economy works, has no experience working or even interacting with world leaders, she can't go through a single interview without using the words "maverick", and the most annoying thing is, she goes around with the look and image of miss goody-two-folksy-homely-shoes which makes me want to puke! I wonder if she even knows where "Aye-Rack" (Iraq) is or what are the issues with Iran. Anyway, this lady has been my one-woman-entertainment for these last few months, so her interviews and public appearances are very much welcome!

Anyway, waiting eagerly for the elections to be held. The polls show the results already, but want to see the look in Palin's face once the final results are out. I bet her maverick self will have some priceless expressions!

Wilted Times

I was watching the news the other day, and something that a news reader said really caught my attention. She was reporting the recent blast in Ahmedabad, which left 1 person dead, and having a conversation with a reporter on site. She asked, "So what do you think, was it just another terrorist attack, a crude bomb accident or a mere cylinder burst?". Hmmm. Just another terrorist attack. The casual tone with which this was said left me zapped. Is this what we've come to? Are terrorist attacks such a common fact of life that we're discussing them like we'd talk about the proceedings of a reality show? Is it so common for people to die in these frequent acts of violence, that their deaths are just reduced to being statistics on a news bulletin? I'm disgusted and appalled.

In the last one week itself, I have seen news about 4 bomb blasts in 3 different cities in India. First Delhi, then Ahmedabad, then Delhi again and yesterday, I freshly heard about blasts in Malegaon, Maharashtra. Is this what our future looks like? Are the bomb blast stories going to be so common that they won't even make it to the headlines? Is there going to be a page in the newspaper titled, "Terrorist attacks of the Day"? I don't think we're far from that situation at all. Terror strikes are so common now, people who hear about a bomb in my city, don't even bother to ask anymore, if anyone I know is affected. What's the point? How many times are they going to ask the same question? All we can do now is, to pray and hope that we're not personally affected by any of these attacks. But I'm sure, that day is not far, when each of us will be personally and directly be affected by these terror strikes. What then? Is that going to be the last limit? Is that going to be enough for these terrorists?

I don't fall into the category of the weak-hearted do-gooder. I'm not entirely all-truist and don't go out of my way to do extraordinary good deeds for people. I don't weep in movies, I don't look at the poor and tear up, I don't help the disabled, I don't pray for victims of the blasts, I don't volunteer at hospitals, I've never donated blood, I've never educated a child. In short, I'm not the kind of person who cries at a stranger's pain. But today, I ache. My heart is in pain and my mind is in agony. So much pain, so much suffering...what for? I'm seeking a reason...I'm looking for a motive...I want to know why?

I don't get it. Maybe I'm too fickle or too soft, but I just don't get it. What is a good enough reason to take innocent lives? What cause can be so big, that the common man needs to die for it? What do people get out of defacing someone for life? What good can come off killing someone's brother, sister, father, mother, husband, wife, friend, companion? What kind of a heart does a person need to have to drop off a device that would, in an instant, change or end the lives of hundreds? I only have questions, the answers evade me.

These are the only words that come to me right now...

Changing times, rocky souls,
crimson, black, grey and finally white,
flooding eyes, broken hearts,
burnt dreams, and shredded homes.
Fearful lives, hateful deeds,
mourning mothers, early deaths,
panic stricken hands, detached limbs,
lost loves and tearful goodbyes.
Flickering hope, damaged faith,
the reasons still buried deep,
man hates another, another hates too,
The end lost, the light now dimmed...

A post about nothing really...

I just discovered that my Dad found my blog...uh oh! Apparently he went and searched on google and found it. So all my secrecy simply went down the drain. Well, at least there's nothing that he doesn't already know about. Its not as if I'm confessing some crime, or declaring my love for someone. I literally have no secrets. How boring is THAT! Now more than ever, I realise that I write about absolutely nothing. Not complaining, just an observation. If I sit down and try to point out what I write about, there's not one particular theme or topic that I'd be able to put my finger on. Well, I suppose there's a lot to say even when there's nothing really to talk about.

So, I'm officially done with university for now and doing nothing all day. Its not like I never did anything before, its just that I can be guilt-free about it now. For all those telling me I'm aimless and wiling away my time, I again want to tell them, uh hello, I'm on a holiday after grueling for 3 long years. It's been barely a week since I got back, and I really don't think its such a LONG time for me to be worried about what'll happen with my life. I'm choosing this, and if anyone has a problem with that, well, I'm sorry for you, but I'm not going out of my way to prove my worth to you. I'm not a bum, and not irresponsible, and when I feel it's the right time, I'll start again. For now, lay off and let me chill, ok?

On a lighter and more exciting note, I got a new iPod Touch!! For all those who have questioned it, hold your tongue people, its Fantabuliscious!! One of the best gadgets I've ever owned and I really don't give a flying fuck (Umm, dad if you're reading this, sorry for the lingo!) if it gets outdated in a year, or if there's an updated model in the market within 3 months. I have this awesome thing in my hand, and I will not trade it till it breathes its last breath! Its easy to use, its great in terms of appearance and utility, the sound quality is stupendous and most importantly, it's so slick to hold and carry around! I know I know, again I'm sounding like a ditzy airhead, but seriously, this thing just makes you feel all cool! It's every penny ( or cent or fil or paisa) worth its price and all those critics and cynics can buzz off...I have an iPod Touch!!!!

Next step, making friends! So far, the only people i've had any interaction with apart from my family are my housemaids, the grocery delivery man, the laundry man, the electrician, the check out girl at the supermarket, my parents' friends, my uncle's friends, my dad's driver....well you get the picture! Dubai seems to be devoid of any young activity, or so I feel right now, since I dont quite know how to get around and find people my age. I guess I'll find a short-term job, a good way to meet people who're not older, hired or selling me stuff!

Anyway, more later peeps! All those people still reading my blog, kudos to you for bearing with the accounts of my mundane existence. I promise to write about something more interesting, when something more interesting happens in my life! Hopefully that'll be soon, excitement's never too far away from me, and that's not Always a good thing!

Till then, Ciao ciao!

The end of a road...

I've been away a fortnight and it seems like forever. When I look back on the last 15 days, I can only marvel at how so many things can change in so little time, and how other things will never change no matter how much time passes. I did not have much time to just sit and think in these days, but upon retrospection, I remain amazed at how much I can think about.

When I left from here, to wrap up my life, I was filled with fear and apphrehension. I was unsure about everything, and insecure about the future. There was just one little milestone to cross, which seemed miles away from where I was standing. From that point, the destination seemed so close, and yet so intangible. A mirage formed in front of me, of somewhere I wanted to be, but didn't know whether it was a real place or not. I did the only thing I could, I walked on.

A little further down the road, I met with obstacles, which I did my best to tackle. I was knocked over a couple of times, but my people held their hands out to me and pulled me back up. As I struggled through the rocks on the road, people kept giving me the tools to be able to break them. At one point, I almost gave up and sat on the side of the road, with tears in my eyes and helpness in my mind. I thought of dropping everything right there, and slowly turn around and make my way back from where I started, and look for an easier and shorter road, with lesser obstacles. As I turned around, a strong pair of arms caught hold of my shoulders and held firm. They made me stop and gave me the reassurance that my milestone is just beyond this last rock, and I need to go on, and not turn around at this point. The Person held my hand and walked me to the rock and handed me the tools, and told me I only had to look back and he'd be right behind me. I had to go on, just had to go on. So I did, I went on.

After a few more blows, that obstacle was beat too, and I found myself right in front of my milestone. It wasn't a mirage, it was solid and tangible. I took two more steps, and reached out and touched it. A wave of elation surged through me as I caressed the milestone. A looked around, and My People were there, right behind me, smiling with me, happy for me. They held my shaking body, and felt the worries being released from me. I could see the happiness in their eyes, I could sense the sincerity in their smile. In that moment, I felt the same fuzzy warmth in my chest, and I knew I'd just felt the first air of achievement. I had achieved, and I had My People to share this moment with. Bliss, pure bliss.

I'm back here now, after accomplishing my last task. I'm happy to have completed what I once started, no matter how much I had to tackle and dodge, I'm glad it's behind me now. My People are always there with me, and I'm sure of this more than ever now. There will be more boulders and rocks and stones in my way, but I know, whenever I look back, My People will be there to tell me I can go on, and I will go on.

Though here at journey's end I lie
In darkness buried deep,
Beyond all towers strong and high,
Beyond all mountains steep,
Above all shadows rides the Sun
And Stars for ever dwell:
I will not say the Day is done,
Nor bid the Stars farewell.

J.R.R Tolkein

Bliss

Bliss is sitting in a coffee shop with friends and laughing hysterically over just about anything.
Bliss is not worrying about anything to do or anywhere to go.
Bliss is forgetting the umbrella at home, and it actually turns out to be a sunny day.
Bliss is eating food that you love, with friends that you love.
Bliss is knowing that your hard-work will eventually pay off.
Bliss is being able to wake up early in the morning and actually not be sleepy anymore.
Bliss is to breathe the fresh morning air, as you see the sun rise.
Bliss is to have home cooked hot meals cooked with affection and served with love.
Bliss is to be back in a place which is so familiar that you feel like you never left at all.
Bliss is to have your trip extended by chance, when you really wanted to stay longer.
Bliss is to meet people after a very long time and feel like no time has passed at all.
Bliss is dress in a hurry and find out that you don't look so bad after all.
Bliss is knowing that you have a long holiday awaiting you.
Bliss is having nothing to write about and yet find a lot to say once you start.
Bliss is eating chocolate cake.
Bliss is meeting deadlines without last-minute panic.
Bliss is seeing the look on people's faces when they like the present that you gifted them.
Bliss is to feel a general contentment for no obvious reason at all.

Bliss is life, Life is Bliss.