Sunday, 26 November 2006

My Angels

I stop a second and look around,

halt the usual daily chores ,
Know I must, what have I today,
Before opening any other new doors.

My weakness lies in family alone,
at whom the world for me stops,
and strength is given by my friends,
who make even tears like honey-drops.

My friends, my life-saving drugs ,
In my mind's eyes I gather with care,
and proudly display to all today,
my angels, who are always there.

I begin with that one person,
who became my sane rock wall,
she was my source of stability,
my shield, my guide, my all.

Then came that disguised foe,
wearing the torturing mischief mask,
he took that off one random day,
and handed me the "best friend" task.

Following him, as closely as ever,
with a wit so sharp, and so bright a mind,
was to whom belonged my soft corner,
my deepest fondness and a faith quite blind.

With the last two, also followed,
an unwelcome stranger from far and long,
who settled into my life so soon and well,
like she'd been there from all along.

Then life took a crazy turn to find,
a sudden lapse in people to trust,
no one seemed to fit the places,
of the footprints in my heart's crust.

But then new steps were formed,
when by my luck I happily found,
with her wise thinking and deep emotion,
the elder sister I'd been looking around.

Closely came another such wonder,
who filled such joy in my lonely heart,
gave so much fondness and trust to me,
That no more from him can I live apart.

Finally came the surprising gift,
who was always there, but I failed to see,
he lends me the desperately needed ear,
a confidante, in him, I've found for me.

Thus I look at the kitty I hold,
of merry memories of fondness and love,
and blessed I truly feel right now,
for all these angels sent from above.


Wednesday, 22 November 2006

Fairy Tale Reality

We all heard stories as kids. The same old fairy tales which started with a lonely princess being trapped somewhere and one day a charming prince came from some enchanted land, rescued her, swept her off her feet and rode her away to happily ever after in a kingdom far...far...away...

Cut to Reality.

You grow up into this world, where everyone goes about their business as usual, everyone's trying to lead a good and respectable life, and everyone wants moments of peace and happiness in their mediocre, rather irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, Life. You're not the trapped princess in a tower maybe, but you're just like those thousands of side-kick subjects that walk the streets carrying burdens on their shoulders and minds. Life, as its meant to, just goes on....

And then there are moments, when you feel detached from this normalcy, and yearn to be shut-out in the mist of an illuminated fairy-tale, where reality is denied any access, where magic is the ruling law and where dreams are lived through the eyes of plausible hopes. There's an uncontrollable want to be in a place where the heart is the king that conquers the otherwise rational head and where decisions made always end in the right outcome. In this fantastic world of free-flowing reverie, the most heart-felt wishes would come true, and there wouldn't be a time of disheartened disappointment....

Eventually though, you open your eyes again, and you're back to this world. This world, where people don't always get what they want, and sometimes when they get it, it comes so late that it loses all meaning. In this world, disappointments are a part of growing up and learning to deal with the malicious occurrences of everyday going-ons. Innocence is lost to the realization of the dark side of things and simplicity is shunned in the race of being noticed among the millions of other earthly beasts grabbing for the same measly opportunities. Like savages, people crawl and climb the ladder to a perceived success, which shines in the distance like a treasured jewel , which when acquired just leaves an un-quenching thirst for a bigger ornament of desire. Dreams are often forgotten midst the traffic of responsibilities and duties and practicalities...leaving
individuals content overall, but having left behind some amount of spirit, some quantity of hope, and some portion of a zest to dream big and want more...

Then again, there are moments that occur out of the blue, which rekindle the rusty faith that young minds once possessed. Light shines through the enclosed entrances and for some time, Life takes a tangent path down the same fairy-land that was once deeply embedded in the minds of innocence.
I live my life as I'm meant to, stepping into the proverbial maze of the world, gradually finding obstacles and traps as I go forward. All I do is..find another route....while deep within, always hoping that when I turn the next corner, I will find the surprising moment where my reality mingles with the mist of the fairy tale....and I arrive to my kingdom of far..far..away.....

Thursday, 16 November 2006

A Day Goes By

Eyes open to a misty white,

a covered blanket of cloudy doubt,
trickling rays find little entryways,
and appear in fragmented little pockets,
and the day begins.

The chilled morning dewy air,
greets the first steps of the day,
the path reaches out and welcomes,
then presents the aching twists,
as the day begins.

Lost sunshine, meandering lanes,
between the concrete towering structures,
darkness looms through an empowering fog,
with nebulous gashes of illusioned light,
and the day goes on.

In some remote corner, the sun descends,
dusk arrives, more darkness comes,
the claws of Night, clutch and clog,
the iota of light that found its way,

seeping through, as the day went on.

Shadows creep over the barren streets,

sleuthing corners of protected secrets,
find the darkened glow of nightly doom,
and triumph over the dimming light,
as the day reaches its ultimate end.


Saturday, 4 November 2006

Distracted Studying Blues

Student life is fun. Yeah, I'd say it is. College brings free time and independence with it, along with an added sense of responsibility. Well, the bad things get majorly cancelled out by the good stuff. If you have to attend boring lectures, at least there's a possibility to sit in the back row and write notes to your friend, discussing the cuties in the class ! If you have to keep track of all your classes and assignments yourself, at least there are other people around you, who also have the same things to keep a track of, so its not so bad. BUT...there's this one slight factor...which is a painful yet essential part of college life...its these dreaded Exams!!

I dont know how other universities work, but where I study, these wretched exams always seem to be just around the corner! If they're not around the corner, its even worse, cuz then, you're in the very Middle of them!! They have this endless characteristic about them...when they're about to start, they just seem to speed up the process and suddenly you realise...oh, I have an Exam Tomorrow!! And oh, I dont know Anything!! And oh, wait a sec, not only do I not know anything, I dont even have the material that I need! Then follows a panic-filled day of chaos, when you try to scram up all you can, try to stuff the material in your brain which is already on the verge of overflowing or just bursting open and splattering the contents all over!

Its not really that you end up scramming cuz you didnt realise till the last moment that you have to study...its more like, you try to study for a week, and just end up scramming at the last minute. A week earlier, like a good student, you sit with a book and your notes on the study table. You prepare everything..have the music playing softly, get a mug of coffee ready, make sure you have enough light, keep your phone close to you so you wont have to get up to answer it, make sure the door's closed so you dont hear any outside noise that might distract you, make sure that you have all the pencils sharpened, the calculater set, all the erasers, rulers, pens, paper ready...everything that you need!

After all this paraphernalia, you sit down, open the first page of the book, read a couple of pages, make some rigourous schemes in your notes...then, you glance up for a second...and there, on your computer you see a window flashing. Hmm, lemme just see who it is, just for a sec, you think. So you go over, thinking ( and hoping ) that it might be something important...Mostly, it isnt. Its usually a friend, who's bored and trying to study but...cant study cuz he/she's bored! So, like a good person, you exchange a few words, tell him/her that you're studying and then..just as you're about to say bye, POP, a new window opens! What is it this time, you wonder. Well, curiousity killed a cat is right, cuz of Course, you check this out too. Its usually just another bored friend, looking for company. So thats how it goes on, till you casually glance at the clock...and woops..and HOUR passed!! Ok I just have to go study now, you think to yourself. Fair enough, you shut off the messenger, and dont shut down the computer since your music's playing on it of course...

Well, so then, kicking yourself for wasting an hour just like that, you sit back down, and very determinedly open the book again. You start reading...the first para made sense, the second made sense too, the third, well, made a little less the 4th-5th paragraph, you forget what you read in the first paragraph. So, you go back, and oh, they make sense again. Good. So you read the end of the 2 have like completely lost interest...Then, you read a random word like, "party", which in the context of the book probably refers to a communist political party which does demonstrations every month. But thats not what you think of, the word "party" triggers off your memory to the last party you attended. You think about what you wore, what your crush wore, what you ate, what you drank...ahem ahem, you usually cannot remember that part! Well, then you think about all the conversations you had, how many times you flirted with the crush, how many foolish things you ended up doing. Oh, I wonder if ________( insert some friend's name here) uploaded the pics from the party! I just Have to see them, you excitedly think to yourself. So, unwillingly, giving in to your sudden urge to see how you looked in the party pics and to find out how many pics you have with your crush, you go back online, and see if your friend's online.

Like most extremely bored college kids, he/she probably is, also avoiding the extremely ardulous and mind-numbing act of studying. So, you talk to the friend, get the pics, and go offline again....just to make yourself indulge in some self-pity about not being online much, cuz oh, you're studying so much!

Well, eventually you do sit down, do some work, feed that guilty conscience of yours. But what can you do about that darn wandering mind? You're reading the most humdrum theories about microeconomics and trying to make heads and tales out of some complicated concept, which you're supposed have understood, well, dayyys ago, and that maverick mind of yours just refuses to cooperate! It goes out, and thinks about every possible thing in the world, except for that page that you're trying so hard to fit in your over-worked brain!

Yup, student life IS least we dont get fired for not doing our maybe...yelled at in a big-time mess maybe....ok, you get the point.
So to all those going through the same Studying Blues, here's a Best of Luck to you....may you be able to conquer that unruly mind of yours!

And now, I should stop writing, cuz guess what, I Have an exam in 2 days!! Adios amigos!