Homesickness

Everyone around us, has a home, a place to turn back to, a place that waits and welcomes them into an atmosphere where they can claim to belong to. We sometimes dont even realise how important belonging can be in our lives...we forget the worth of that place which embraces us after a day of encountering the harshest of the blows that outside world stores for us...

The definition of home differs with what different people percieve as A Home. To some, the material four walls of an appartment are enough to feel secure, while others find their true "home" where their family is, where the people they care about are. There are some, who find any place they can adjust to like their home, while there are others who find homes to be the place where they are happiest in. If I were to define a Home, I'd say its the place I want to go back to, a place which is my pillar, my support..a place where I feel like I belong..and place where I want to live forever...

Sometimes I go and tell my friends, "I'm Homesick", which really amuses them as they counter me by reminding me that I live with my parents, at home, how can I be missing my home? That, is a true example of the difference in perception of the word, the concept. To me, my Home is my country, from which I'm far far away. I live in a house in a foriegn land. The house is where I return to after each day's battle with the world, and its the house where I spend time with my family...but its not Home. Home is where I belong, and that's my country, my city...where I feel like I always want to be, where I feel secure, where I want to live forever.

There are times when I question this view of mine. What is it that pulls me back everytime? I lead a fairly good life here. Like any normal college going student, I do my share of studying, spending time with my friends, enjoy doing the things I love the most, have a good social circle, have a bunch of close friends I can always depend on, have my parents by my side...seems like a pretty full life! Then, what is it that makes my heart crave for my home? Its moments that I realise that no matter how hard I try, I dont fit here...My life is here, but my heart is still back there...back where it belongs. I live here, shuttlling between two worlds. Two worlds which are very different from each other, and two worlds which will never meet. There's always something missing...

What I miss most about my home? Oh not much...just the chirping of the busy mornings, the sounds of the vendors on the streets, the buzzing of activity all around..the sparks of conversation which seem to mesh with the background and are one with the harmony of random noises which act like music to the sound-deprived ears...the multitudes of times when the family gathers together for family functions...the colorful ice-cream carts which carry bundles of children's smiles with them...the smell of the earth after the first Monsoon showers... the green-ness of the wet trees...the kids carrying school-bags jumping into the water puddles that form on the road...the multi-colored air of Holi in spring...eating coal-cooked corn on the side of the summery streets...drinking cool coconut water at the park...getting drenched in the downpour of the mid-july rains...tying Rakhi to brothers and cousins while the entire family gathers to spend the day together...making little "jhaankis" depicting Lord Krishna's life on Janamashtmi...waking up early to watch the 15th August speech of the Prime Minister....flying colorful kites and watching the sky fill with the little colorful day-stars hanging in the air swaying around the clear sky..watching the gigantic structure of Ravana burn to ashes on Dusshera...waiting eagerly for the moon to appear on Karva-shauth day...going all around the house lighting little diya-lamps on Diwali and choosing the brightest, most long-lasting and loudest fire crackers on the auspicious occasions..running out as a passing procession of a baraat passes...taking out winter quilts as the air turns chilly in november...having a huge party on Christmas day with family and friends and lots of music and dancing..going for evening walks with the closest friends with clouds of smoke escaping from the mouths as the wintry chill gently wraps itself around us...attending and preparing for the December weddings and dancing and singing through various nights of celebrations...getting mehendi on your hands and then comparing with other excited girls and ladies, comparing whose color is the deepest red...having a bon-fire party on New Year's Eve ending with an uproar as the clock strikes 12 and being with the closest of family and friends as we enter into another new year...watching the 26th January parade and running outside to watch the airforce planes fly over the house..going for picnics in the February mist, with a gentle breeze accompanying you into a pleasant day of pleasure.......

No...i dont miss much...I just miss it all...