Sprawled across my double-bed right now, I'm listening to songs by The Beatles. The song I'm listening to right now is called With a little help from my friends, and like any day when I'm feeling vulnerable and weak, I can relate to music more than anything else. The song talks about how this person who's away from his love can "get by" because of his friends. It was true for me too, there was a time when I was away from my family and the only people who kept me going were my bunch of close friends. Like the person in the song, everything becomes tolerable with the company of friends, and that was very true for me. All the troubles become easier, and all the pain bearable, when you have friends close by, and people who you can talk to, who support you through your good times and bad.
Before this song, I was listening to Hey Jude, by The Beatles again, and although the song is entirely unrelated, there are some lines which I can understand really well. Someone said similar things to me once..
And anytime you feel the pain,
Hey Jude refrain,
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders.
How simple and how true. When we are down and low, we tend to magnify our problems and make them seem grand, while they can still be solved. We become so engrossed in our suffering that we lose perspective and rationale. In those moments, it is so important for someone to help you regain that lost clarity and remind you that there is nothing in the world that cannot be solved. I was so lucky to have someone remind me of that (again and again).
I don't know if this is something uniquely bizzare with me (though I truly doubt it), but when I'm feeling low, I go and listen to the most depressing songs that I can find (not referring to The Beatles of course, they're lovely). Assuming that I'm not the only one who does that, I wonder what makes us do it. Do we really revel in our doom, so much that we fuel it with music that would induce more pain? Does music really provide that extra push towards the feeling of impending doom?
I think to myself, why do I do it? Why do I go looking for more reasons to feel the way I do. Why do I listen to song that remind me of the times that once were, or remind me of the wishes and dreams that I had so carefully woven, only to be disappointed afterwards? Why do I want to listen to words and sounds that push me deeper into those dreaded feelings?
Alas, I don't have any answers, only a handful of questions. I'll go listen to Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler now, and enjoy the sounds that match my mood...
Still wondering...and now humming..